Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
