Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Damn victory sex feels great
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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