Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
