I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
smell my finger.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
how drunk are you?
Several
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
