This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
