I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
