i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
