so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
