everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I am mentally ready for anal.
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