So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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