Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
