I wanna bring you to show and tell
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
