he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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