I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
