I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize