: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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