He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
