once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
