last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize