This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
