from now on my penis is your penis
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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