maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize