My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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