you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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