Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
