A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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