Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
