Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
