Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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