Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
