I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
