I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
