I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
