what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
