so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
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