i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
