I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
