if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
