It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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