remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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