don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
