Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
