For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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