why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Terrible idea I love it
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
