All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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