i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
