hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
