What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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