somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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