shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
