when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
