i will never coherently bang her
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
