Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
