google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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