ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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