like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
