Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
